just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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