I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Shame - the story of my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
