my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
