Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
then he tried to convert me to islam
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When are your genitals available?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
