So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
