Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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