hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
