just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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