Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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