It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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