be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
