i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
