yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
