White coat. Heels.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
