I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
