6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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