you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
