Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
