highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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