i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
