you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
