Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk is a universal language darling
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
