Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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