There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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