508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
