I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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