But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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