just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude i'm inner monologue high
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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