That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
