Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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