i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
worst night to have a conscience
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
