Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
