I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
