Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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