How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
