dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
one might say we're banned from that church
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
