I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My day in three words: secret purse cake
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
