dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
