she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
