I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
