So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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