Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
