So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
