it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
