I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
