You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My room smells like vodka and shame
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
