after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize