i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
