i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
