i barfeds in our rink
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
