would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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