we have officially lost it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
