its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
