two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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