based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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