I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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