i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
