If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
