Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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