I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am available for nakedness
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize