i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
