but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
