i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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