at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
