Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
